Giving up for his glory

My mind has been so mess up.

I always pray and ask God to show me what is God's will and to leads me to his will.

There is nothing to compare to his perfect plan for me.

There is nothing to compare to follow him.

There is nothing to compare to his love,grace and mercy for me.

It is not hard for me mostly to give up something God does not want me to have.

But now I have been having a very hard time to give up one thing.

It seems like that is not what God wants me to have right now.

But I don't want to give up that. I am still praying and asking God if that is God's will or not.

God knows how much I want it.

At same time he knows how much I am afraid of disobeying him.

"Set your hearts on things above, where Christ is seated at the right hand of God. "

Colossians 3:1

"Find rest, O my soul, in God alone; my hope comes from him. He alone is my rock and my salvation; he is my fortress, I will not be shaken. My salvation and my honor depend on God; he is my mighty rock, my refuge. Trust in him at all times, O people; pour out your hearts to him, for God is our refuge." Psalm 62:5-8

I am not ready to give up this. Should I really give up this??

God please show me your will.

Full of his grace

A couple days ago I talked to Lisa who has came to Christ a week ago on the skype. I really wanted to talk to her and hear about the day she accepted Jesus as her saviour. Also I wanted to ask her how her life has changed since then.

She was so excited to see me and talk to me. First her word was " I miss you!"

That made me smile. So she told me how she decided to accept Jesus and how her life has changed.

She told me when we had Japanese Fellowship last month Miho(who used to live at Lighthouse and help ministry) gave Lisa an answer which helped Lisa to understand God's love and God's present. After that she had been reading some Japanese Christian books that I gave to her. Finally everything did make sense to her.

She told me that after she came to Christ she saw some of her friends whom she has not seen in a while. They told her that she is a different person. She used to not smile but now she smiles a lot. She seems so happy. Yes it is so true. I have noticed that she has been changed. She used to not so smile and so shy. But now she smiles and talks a lot. The best things is that she always gives me a huge hug and says " This much I love you!" That makes me so happy!!!!

So I asked her " What do you think makes you different?"

Her answer was " Knowing that I am loved by God gives me peace. "

I praised the LORD! My tears started coming down. I remember the first day she came to Lighthouse. I remember whenever she has told me that she does not have hope I always wished if she knew God's love. I had been waiting for this day over year. I was just so full of his grace.

"Those who sow in tears shall reap with shouts of joy! He who goes out weeping, bearing the seed for sowing, shall come home with shouts of joy, bringing his sheaves with him."

Psalm 126:5-6

God's word is so true. He is so faithful.

"So will I ever sing praise to your name, as I perform my vows day after day." Psalm 61:8

Love with actions and in the truth

God didn't just give a little for us. He gave His best. He gave Himself. True love is sacrifice. And our love is shown by how we live our lives.

"Let us not love with words or tongue but with actions and in truth."

I love God with all my heart,with all my soul.

But how much I love others with actions and in the truth?

Sometimes I try to not show them my love. Why?

"Giving that is not motivated by love is worth nothing."

I need to ask myself "Whatever I am doing now is by love? "

If not then I should stop doing that.

Dear Lord

Please let me love others with actions and in the truth like Jesus does.

Please let me give to others by love.

Please clean my heart by your love.

Do you love with actions and in the truth?

God's wonderful works.

God is SO good. God is So faithful.

I got email from Lisa who is a one of Japanese girls comes to Lighthouse. She has been coming to Lighthouse over a year. She told me that she accepted Jesus as her saviour today 4,Sep,2009!!

Praise the Lord!!! Unfortunately I am in Germany now so I won't be able to see her soon and to give her a big hug.... but still I am SO happy for her. She is my sister in Christ now.:) I was waiting for this moment!!! Three Japanese girls came to Christ since April. This is amazing.

This great news encouraged me to decide to start new things in my Christian life.

I have been praying about it for long time.

I have decided to get some support and to cut my baby-sitting job. I want to focus to study his word and tell others. I want to spend more time to help ministry at Lighthouse. I want to interact with Japanese girls,students,Navy people,Navy wives & mothers... whoever God calls me to.

Please pray that the process to get support will be going well since everything is new to me.

Also please pray that I would be closer to God after this trip in Germany and Italy.

I have not finished last one but somehow I posted. I am sorry about that.
Anyway I was having hard time with my mother. This happened made me think how much I trust in God and how much I really know(understand) his words(truths). When I was talking to my mother, I didn't have a peace. Why? I was struggling because whatever she said is not God's will. But not only that reason. I think I still tried to control myself instead of giving the control to God. I forgot that "It is all about him. It is NOT about me!" My life is given from God and is for his glory. Whenever I remember this, I have a peace because nothing can bother me. When I focus on myself, I get upset, sad,depress easily.

"For from him and through him and to him are all things." Romans 11:36

Everything that is giving to us is from God and all is his glory.

"So whether you eat or drink or whatever you do, do it all for the glory of God" 1 Corinthians 10:31

Francis Chan asks in his book 「Crazy love」 "What does that mean for you and says? Frankly you need to get over yourself" I often remember how God has saved me and how he has changed me and thank God for all of that. And I tell God that I will give everything to him and I will live my life for him. Then how come can I be selfish so easily???

How much could I sacrifice myself for him in this trip? Could I surrender everything to him??

Before I came to Christ I always wanted to be cared, to be understood and to be loved by my mother in my life. My relation with her influenced my relations to others. I was always trying to feel love by being accepted and getting attentions by others. To feel love I always decided to do whatever people told me to do even I thought it was not right sometimes. I could not know what is the truth and what is the lie. "Be the person whom everyone likes = Be perfect" was the biggest purpose in my life. Francis Chan says

"When we face the holy God, "nice" isn't what we will be concerned with, and it definitely isn't what He will be thinking about. Any compliments you received on earth will be gone; all the reality of who we are before God."

(By Crazy love)

Knowing the truth(God and his words) is my precious treasure.

I have been asking myself this

"I know the truth but how much do I know(understand) and believe?"

It is so important to us to remind ourselves each day that our lives are for God's glory and because of the truth we can trust in Him and have peace and joy.

Holy God thank you so much for the truth and the promise you gave to me. Thank you for my life. God please help me to understand your words more and trust in you all I do. Please give me the strength to do only your will. Please let me the light to others. Thank you so much for your everlasting love.

I went to my home town two weeks ago. It had been one year since I went there last time.

I was so excited to see my family, to see how much I have grown as Christian and to share God's love with my family but at same time I was a little concerned about staying with my mother.

It was so nice to see my family. I had good time with them, specially with my nieces and nephews. I could tell them about God and Jesus and give them bible and some Christian book. One of my sisters children have been giving thanks to God before each meal since I visited them last time. That was a big encouragement. They always asked me to pray with them.

The hardest part of this trip was my mother. She had kept asking me to go out with one Japanese guy. (The guy is her friend's son. I met him on the second day.I believe my mother and her friend set up without telling me) I kept told her that I am not interested because he is not Christian. She got upset and told me that I need to listen to her. I was really tired of listening to her. It made me so sad. Because my relations with my mother have never gotten close I always feel I have never been a good daughter to her.

I understood that she wants me to marry and have some children. I do want to make her happy as her daughter but what she wants is not what God wants. I want make God happy more than anyone else. He is the one who found me and who loves me more than anyone.

Request Prayer

"Search me, O God, and know my heart; test me and know my anxious thoughts.

 See if there is any offensive way in me and lead me in the way everlasting."

 "But you,  O Lord, be not far off; O my Strength, come quickly to help me."

The gift from God ~part 1~

The gift from God ~part 1~ is my job.  I am a babysitter.  This is my main job now.  

I love my job.  I receive so many things from them. Joyfulness,happiness,gratefulness and love.

It is so blessing to be able to watch how they have been growing up.  When they call my name,when they give me a hug,when they give me a kiss, my heart is so filled with love. 

"Children a reward from him"   Psalm 127:3

How precious my own children could be?? 

 

The heart of worship

"The heart of worship - gratefully receiving the life God gives and,in turn,wholeheartedly giving that life back to Him."

We studied about Hanna who brought her barrenness to the LORD at women's bible study tonight.   Her testimony is so special to me. When I heard about her testimony two years ago I decided to give my heart and my life to the Lord.  

Now I am Christian so my circumstances are different. Through this bible study,however, God used her testimony to teach me how to trust  him in the difficult circumstances and show me how important it is to focus our attention first on God. 

There really are only two ways to turn when we experience barrenness-either we take the path to bitterness, or we take the path to brokenness,which ultimately leads to blessing. 

More important than the particular kind of barrenness we experience, is what we choose to do with our barrenness. Will we bring it to the LORD, or will we turn inward with bitterness and anger? 

God will never abandon us to barrenness. It is simply a land He chooses to take us through for a season. I is our choices, however, that may determine how long we stay there.  

"Be anxious for nothing,but in everything by prayer and supplication with thanksgiving let your requests be made known to God. And the peace of God, which surpasses all comprehension, shall guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus."        Philippians 4:6-7

God always acts according to His loving purpose and plans. 

Today I found out that I could not pass English test to apply to the bible college.  However I have a peace in Him because  I focus my attention first on God.  

My hope and faith

"I remember my affliction and my wandering,  the bitterness and the gall.

I well remember them, and my soul is downcast within me. Yet this I call to mind and therefore

I have hope:  Because of the Lord's great love we are not consumed, for his compassions never

fail. They are new every morning; great is your faithfulness. I say to myself, "The Lord is my portion; therefore I will wait for him."                    Lamentations 3:19-24

God has been challenging me by many different ways.  At same time Satan has been attacking me a lot.   However I am so grateful for God's mercy and his great love. 

For I remember the time when I was walking in the darkness, for I remember the time when I was lost, I can have hope in Him. I can have faith that God is everything in my life.

I say to myself,"The Lord is my portion;therefore I will wait for him."

I am excited how God is going to use me for his glory.

 

    

Being myself

"You are precious and honored in my sight,and....I love you."     Isaiah 43:4

"Man looks at the outward appearance,but the LORD looks at the heart."   1 Samuel 16:7

"See,I have engraved you on the palms of my hands; your walls are ever before me."  Isaiah 49:16

"This is my Son, whom I love; with him I am well pleased."  Matthew  3:17

I am not perfect. Sometimes I have to ask couple times to understand. Sometimes people laugh at me. Sometimes I feel I am so stupid. But God loves me who be created by God. That is all. That is enough for me.   

"I am the way and the truth and the life."     John 14:6

God is working in Japanese life!!

Tonight we had 16 people for bible study.  It was very small group for Friday night but I believed that it was Gods will.   

Well here is the beginning.  When we were going to pray for our food one Japanese woman showed up.  I went to  the door and introduced myself. She told me that when she was walking around Lighthouse while ago some women asked her to come to Lighthouse to join our activity. That day she didn't come but she remembers about Lighthouse and today she felt like to pray. That's why she came to Lighthouse.  She had no idea about Lighthouse and she was thinking Lighthouse is Japanese church. She told me that she went some shrine today(because it is new years) and also she wanted to pray at church.  I guessed she is not believer yet.  Anyway I asked her to join for dinner.  She started to introduce herself to everyone. 

I sat next to her and asked her about herself. She told me where she is from and that she has been traveling many country. She seemed really positive woman. I gave her Japanese bible. 

During bible study(well tonight Jim was not here so we shared what we study in bible or what we pray for ourselves etc...) she asked me some questions about bible.  She has no idea about bible but she kept saying she wants to buy same bible I have(Japanese one and English one).  I told her  I wold explain about bible and show her book store. 

After bible study(we finished at 8p.m.!) she started to talking to some people so I was just waiting for her.  I was seeking what God is telling me to share with her and why he brought her to Lighthouse tonight. She was enjoying to talk to people. After every one left around 9:30p.m.  I took her to library. She started talking to me about her story. As soon as she started I understood why God brought her tonight.  We have talked about two hours.  I gave her some Japanese christian books which are for non believer or new believer. 

She is seeking love. She wants to know if love is the most important thing in her life. 

She reminded me of myself. Once I was like her. Her story is similar to my story. 

She is about 40. She kept saying that it would be too late to find out what she wants to do or to learn about anything.  I told her that it would never be too late. We learn every day in our lives. I asked her if I can pray for her. She said it's ok so I held her hands and prayed for her.

She told me that she was so glad to come and meet people here and she was so filled. She asked me if she can come back again even she is not thinking to become a Christian just she wants to read the bible. I said "Of cause!" I gave her my email address and Lighthouse website.  

 

I pray that God comforts her heart and surrounds her with his love and take all sadness or pain from her. I also ask God to use me or people from Lighthouse to share his love with her. 

This verse just came to my mind.

"Dear friends, let us love one another, for love comes from God. Everyone who loves has been born of God and knows God."    1 John 4:7

I will continue to pray for her salvation. I would like to ask you to pray for her salvation too. 

God also showed me the reason God put me here at Lighthouse.